I'm Afraid of What Other People Think of Me

Hey!

I know, I know. It’s been awhile since you heard from me.

If I’m being honest, I’ve just been trying to navigate through this crazy experience we call life (seriously though, aren’t we all?)

While I love sending these messages and sharing insight with you, I would be lying if I said that was the only reason I write these.

The truth is, most of the time I write these for myself.

It’s like my own personal journal. I write these to help me think. To help me figure things out. To help me process everything that’s going on in my own life.

And then find a lesson and share it with you. Because that’s all life really is:

Trying and failing. Figuring things out as you go. Then sharing what you learn along the way in the hopes that it helps someone else.

At least that’s how I see it.

Anyway, this one may be a bit unconventional and more like a “straight from the dome” style of writing so bare with me.

Just know that if you’ve ever read my writing, supported my work, or even just liked one of my posts on social media, I appreciate you more than you know and I just want to say thanks for joining me on this adventure :)

Anyone who’s ever walked the face of the earth has had fears in life. You, me, that random stranger you passed on the street, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson… hell, even someone like Napoleon or Julius Caesar.

It’s only human nature. It’s just a part of life.

In fact, the other week I was journaling and decided to write down everything I’m afraid of in life. Some were big, some were small.

And boy, let me tell you. It was a longgggg list.

But there was one that kept coming up. One that stood out from all the others and even created many of my other fears. Here it is:

I’ve always been afraid of what other people think of me.

Yeah, yeah, I know that’s no way to live. I try my absolute hardest to not let the opinions of others dictate how I live. I’m sure we all do.

But the truth is, it’s hard. It’s reallyyyy hard.

At least for me.

Whether it’s posting a video of myself online, creating a brand and sharing my ideas with the world, telling someone how I really feel, not living up to my own or other people’s expectations, disappointing the people I care about, writing something like this in the hopes it resonates with someone…

The list could go on and on and on.

And as much as I try not to, there are thoughts that come up all the time. Thoughts like:

"What will they think of me and my ideas? What if they don’t like me? Will they even care at all?"

It’s one thing to say you don’t care what other people think. But it’s completely different to actually live like that.

Not caring what others think. Not fearing the opinions of others or how they’ll perceive you. Not being afraid to share how you really feel.

And the truth is, I’m sick and tired of it.

I’m tired of constantly being afraid and worrying about the worst case scenarios. I’m tired of overthinking and second-guessing myself. I’m tired of thinking so much about the “what ifs” that I let fear control my life.

But most importantly, I’m tired of letting the opinions of others dictate how I live my life.

Because the reality is that most of the time, these opinions are my own fears.

Most of the time they’re just made up. Made up thoughts. Made up scenarios I create in my own head that keep me from living the life I truly want to.

I always try to live by the motto: “I’d rather deal with an ‘oh well’ than a ‘what if?’” In fact, I wrote about that same thing awhile back (you can check it out here).

So if that’s how I truly want to live my life – not living with regret of the chances I didn’t take, experiencing as many things as I can in life, not caring about what other people think of me…

Then why the hell is it so hard?

Because it’s scary? Because it’s the unknown? Because it’s uncomfortable?

I don’t know, but that’s what I’m currently trying to figure out.

And I’m sure that’s what a lot of people are trying to figure out in life. I know for a fact I’m not the only one who’s felt this way before.

Look, I know it’s only natural to have these fears. These feelings of worry and anxiety. These feelings of self-doubt and second-guessing and overthinking.

Maybe it’s because I’m just in that phase of life where I’m young and trying to figure everything out. Where I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going or what comes next.

All I know is I don’t have all the answers. In fact, I’d argue I have no answers at all.

But I guess that’s just part of the journey. Part of the human experience. Part of this crazy adventure we get to call life :)

Like I said at the beginning of this email, this one was kind of just a free-flow of my thoughts and a glimpse into my life at the moment.

But regardless, I hope it helped or resonated with you in some way.

This is probably the most open and transparent I’ve been with a piece of writing. In fact, it’s kinda scary even thinking about sharing this with you.

But here’s something I’ve learned:

The things that scare you the most are often the things you most need to do.

I’d love to get your thoughts. Let me know if this “open-journal” type of writing is something you’d like to see more of and I’ll continue to share things like this in the future :)

Never stop dreaming,

Connor